Lost and Gained
by Raychel
Summary: When Elliot's world is turned upside down in one fleeting moment, the only person who can keep him up is Olivia Benson. Will tragedy be the only thing to bring out their true feelings? One moment can change the rest of your life.
1. Mistletoe

AN: Well I am writing the sequel to trapped at the moment, I'm excited about it

**AN: Well I am writing the sequel to trapped at the moment, I'm excited about it. But I wanted to write another one see how it goes until the sequel is ready to be put up. Here's a new one guys.**

Elliot Stabler sat at his desk at the Special Victims Unit precinct in Manhattan, New York. His computer was freezing up and he hit the side of the monitor with his hand.

"What did the monitor do to you?" Fin, a fellow officer chuckled to him as he passed the desk.

"The damn thing won't… aw man now the mouse won't work." Elliot clicked the mouse a bunch of times and he then felt a hand on his and the touch made him calm and excited at the same time. The hand belonged to Olivia Benson, his partner of over eight years and out of all the partners he had to get, it had to be the most amazing woman on earth and she was unattainable. Elliot mentally kicked himself as he reminded himself that he was miserably married, but had a new baby boy to father.

"Just restart it El, you'll mess it up more if you keep clicking the mouse buttons like that," Olivia then leaned down over Elliot's lap to hold down the on/off button for ten seconds and Elliot felt a blush come over him and another officer, Munch looked over amused. Elliot looked away and took in a deep breathe catching a waft of Olivia's perfume. 

"New scent?" He asked her and she looked at him raising on eye brow.

"What?" she asked him and he held her gaze.

"Nothing." He cleared his throat, she nodded and he caught a hint of a smile play on her lips as she went over to her own desk that sat across from Elliot.

"Liv, someone called for you earlier." Munch said, sitting down on Olivia's desk and she looked up at him. Elliot refrained from kicking his computer that was now restarting but taking it's time. He then looked over at the look on Olivia's face and he wasn't aware of his staring until she asked him,

"Why the hell are you looking at me like that?" Olivia looked taken back.

"I… it was just… nothing." Elliot pressed his lips together and Olivia looked back up at Munch.

"It was a man and he called my desk accidentally at first, it was the first entertaining call of the day. I ask who he was, he wouldn't tell me, he kept wanting to get off the phone, just trying to tell me to let you know that he called and to tell you that you would know what 'Jewel' meant." Munch shrugged and stood up, "Have the calls like that Liv, it doesn't hurt… too much." Olivia rolled her eyes at him and picked up her phone.

"Jewel?" Elliot asked, now ignoring his computer.

"It's personal Elliot." Olivia said, dialing her phone and Elliot made a face at her.

"What?" she asked, putting her hand on the hang up button.

"We're best friends and it's personal?"

"Yes, it's personal."

"Fine." Elliot cleared his throat, felt that all too familiar tight feeling in his stomach whenever Olivia was either annoyed at him or wouldn't talk to him. Olivia redialed and turned around so Elliot couldn't hear the conversation; he caught a few words but nothing to go on. Olivia hung up and turned back to her desk and signed on to her computer.

"Mixing pleasure with work?" Elliot asked, without looking at her.

"I don't care how much you patronize me; it's not going to work." Olivia said, typing as she spoke.

"What's not going to work?" Elliot asked, mockingly innocent.

"I'm not telling you what it is… who knows I might one day on my death bed but not today. Don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"That Elliot Stabler look, I might tell you if I have to."

"Gee, that's so sweet…" Elliot heaved a sigh and groaned as his computer began to beep at him.

"Downloading porn again?" Munch asked as he got off his desk phone.

"Shut up Munch."

"Elliot's smart enough to keep his porn at home." Olivia teased.

"Olivia don't make me come over there."

"I'm trembling." Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Hey Liv, let me come use your computer." Elliot said to her as he shut off his own and Olivia looked at him for a full five seconds before saying,

"No."

"Why not?" Elliot asked, "I've gotta get this report to the captain and I know that you finished yours last night, besides you're probably just chatting with Casey." Elliot looked at her and she curled up her lip and shook her head.

"Let me tell Casey that I have to go," Olivia sighed and Elliot smiled rolling his chair across to Olivia's desk and she let him sit next to her as she opened up a file. Elliot looked at the computer screen and saw that Olivia had changed her screen wallpaper to a picture of the two of them at a benefit they had attended a few weeks ago. He smiled at the picture, someone had taken it after a few hours of drinking wine and dancing and talking. Elliot had his arms around Olivia and she was leaned into him smiling so huge that she looked like she was about to burst. Elliot was smiling as well; it looked like he was saying something into her ear. It then occurred to him that he never seen this picture before.

"Hey, how come I've never seen this picture?" Elliot asked, putting the mouse pointer over the picture and he saw Olivia blush slightly when she saw the picture.

"Casey took them, she took a bunch actually." Olivia shrugged.

"Why didn't she send them to me?" Elliot asked, not able to hide his disappointment as he looked at Olivia.

"You haven't seen the photo's Elliot and we were going to keep it that way," Olivia bit her lip, "If Kathy saw the pictures… oh come on she already thinks that something is going on between us." Olivia said, but took the mouse from Elliot and her right arm lay against his and he was suddenly very self aware. He tried to keep his breathing steady but it became even harder when Olivia opened a folder called, "Me and El." Hundreds of Photos opened up and he just gaped at them.

"Who took all of these?" Elliot asked looking at the photos, laughing as he saw a picture of them at precinct party for Christmas when they first starting working together. 

_Flashback…_

_ "So are you enjoying the Christmas party?" Elliot asked his new partner Olivia Benson who was leaning against the wall drinking spiked punch and she smiled at him and shrugged._

_ "It's alright, I feel underdressed though." Olivia looked down, inviting Elliot to look as well and he smiled at her shirt and jeans._

_ "I think you look beautiful." He told her sweetly and a blush crept into her cheeks and she smiled._

_ "Thanks, you're supposed to say that because you're my partner." Olivia smirked._

_ "Actually I shouldn't have said that, but I can't lie." There was a moment of awkward silence and Elliot knew he had crossed a line. Olivia pushed her hair behind her ear and took a drink of her punch and she then smiled at him._

_ "So where's Kathy?" For some reason Olivia mentioning his wife's name made him feel guilty because as a husband he should have wanted to be with his one and only life long love but that had all changed the moment he met Olivia Benson. Right now the only thing that would have made him happier was if his kids were there to celebrate with him, but…_

_ "Kathy took her and the kids to see her parents for the Holidays and with my job… well." Elliot shrugged._

_ "So you're spending Christmas alone?" Olivia asked, looking genuinely concerned._

_ "I've got a TV dinner with my name on it… its traditional Turkey," Elliot said, shuddering at the idea of the meal and Olivia laughed, "How about you? What are you doing for Christmas?"_

_ "Well seeing as how my mom is crazy and all of my friends have gone home for the Holidays… I'm watching a Christmas Carol." Olivia and Elliot laughed and it compelled him to ask her, he couldn't help himself._

_ "You wanna eat some microwave Turkey and watch a Christmas Carol together since no one should be alone on Christmas?"_

_ "Hm… well, under a few conditions." Olivia smiled at him, cocking her head to one side._

_ "Sure,"_

_ "You let me cook a real Christmas dinner so we don't have to eat out of cardboard and we use your house since I can't even get a tree in my apartment that well."_

_ "Tell you what, I didn't even put a tree up yet since Kathy and the kids are gone, so why don't we go pick out a tree and then go buy a few new ornaments, you can cook Christmas dinner if I get to cook breakfast and… if you let me to take you to see the Christmas Carol play," Elliot smiled at her and she looked shy all of the sudden, but very happy._

_ "Sounds perfect…" Olivia said as a person passed behind Elliot, he was pushed into Olivia and she backed up giving Elliot room to step forward. "Sorry!" the man said and then a voice called out,_

_ "Hey you two, you're under the mistletoe! It's tradition!"_

_ "He can't, he's married!" Someone called out as well._

_ "Married or not it's still tradition," Munch said louder then everyone and Elliot looked at him and he gave him a knowing look._

_ "Well, it is tradition." Elliot said to Olivia and she looked up at the mistletoe._

_ "Ok." She agreed and everyone watched as Elliot leaned down to kiss Olivia and he wanted to keep kissing her, he felt light headed and he could feel Olivia kiss him back, but at the same time they both pulled away slowly and everyone cheered and clapped._

_ "You know you'll never hear the end of this!" Munch called out to Elliot and he made a face at him._

_ "He's kidding right?" Olivia asked._

_ "Sadly no, we're going to hear about this for the next year."_

_ "Ok then," Olivia smiled at him and he smiled back._

_ "Hey mistletoe birds! Smile!" Monique, a fellow detective called out and Elliot looked at Olivia with a huge smile and she laughed, the camera went off twice and she gave one each to them. _

_ "Ok who wants to play pin the hat on the santa?!" Munch called out._

_ "He's kidding now right?" Olivia asked and Elliot looked at her and she cringed._

_ "Welcome to SVU Liv," He smiled at her._

_END FLASHBACK_

"That was a great party," Elliot said pointing to the picture and Olivia got a glint in her eye that he had not seen in so long that it was refreshing. She smiled at him and he looked through the rest of the pics, then went to Olivia's Email.

"Hey what are you doing?"

"Sending the pics to me."

"That will take forever, besides you're supposed to be doing your report." Olivia nudged him.

"I will, eventually." Elliot sighed and he smiled as he looked at the pictures of him and Olivia over the years and it just reminded him why he loved her so much. As he was laughing at their hair do's in one picture Captain Cragen came out of his office looking grim.

"Elliot! Could you come here please?"

"Uh, working on the report right now sir," Elliot said hastily and Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Forget the report, something's happened. Olivia?"

"Yes?" Olivia asked.

"Stay where you are, Elliot please come here."

"Um ok." Olivia looked very concerned and Elliot felt her squeeze his hand as he got up.

"What's going on?" Elliot asked, his heart hammering in his chest as the captain looked shaken.

"Sit down Elliot."

"I think I'll stand, tell me."

"It's Kathy." The captain said almost painfully and Elliot bit his lip.

"Don't do this to me, what happened?"

"I don't know how to say this Elliot but you're about to get a call. I… heard it over the radio and-" Elliot's phone rang and he answered it immediately.

"Elliot Stabler," He said.

"Evening to you Mr. Stabler, this is the husband of Kathy Stabler, address-"

"Yes, yes it's me. What's going on?"

"I'm afraid to tell you that your wife is dead sir… she was in convenience store and… sir we need you to come down to the hospital and get your son as well as identify the body… sir?" Elliot dropped the phone and it was like he didn't know how to breathe. His eyes stung with tears and his feet weighed a hundred pounds all of the sudden and he fell to his knees.

"I'm so sorry Elliot." Cragen said and that was when Olivia rushed into the office and went to Elliot.

"Lake just told me." Olivia pulled him into her arms and he started to shake.

"I have to… go to the hospital to get Eli and… identify-"

"I'm going." Olivia said immediately taking his hands in hers and she held him so close he could feel her heartbeat, "I'm sorry captain but I'm staying next to Elliot's side." 

"Of course you are Olivia, it's fine. Call me and keep me posted." He said and then turned away, hiding his eyes.

"Come on El, get up." Olivia said firmly but tenderly, her hands keeping him from falling apart, "We have to get to Eli," He took her hands and she helped him up, her hands clasped tightly around his and he leaned against her. Afraid to fall, he could feel everyone looking at him, but no one said a thing. He had never heard the precinct so quiet, his heartbeat could be heard clearly in his ears and the only thing keeping him from falling completely apart was the woman next to him, she had her left arm around his waist grasping his left hand while her right hand was on his shoulder.

"Liv, I need you to drive." Was all he could think of saying out of everything that had just happened.

"Anything Elliot, I'm not leaving you… even if you tell me to. I'm not going anywhere." And he didn't argue with her but let her take care of him as they made their way to the sedan.

**AN: I killed Kathy in the first chapter?! Oops… well I could wait to write it… totally kidding… well… no no anyway, let me know what you guys think of the new story!! Not to worry, I'm still putting up the sequel for Trapped. With that said… REVIEW!!**


	2. the Question

AN: I don't own any of these characters… sadly

**AN: I don't own any of these characters… sadly. If I did Elliot and Olivia would be married and have kids and… ANYWAY, I'm glad you guys love the story so far. Here's chapter twooooo. HAPPY EASTER!**

"Can I help you?" A young nurse asked Olivia and Elliot as they walked into the hospital entrance.

"Elliot why don't you go sit down?" Olivia suggested to Elliot, but he shook his head and she sighed in exasperation.

"My wife was brought in and I she's um… uh…" Elliot's words left him and he couldn't bring himself to say it. He felt Olivia's hand on his arm and he cringed when she told the nurse that Kathy had passed.

"I'm so terribly sorry for your loss," The nurse said and told them which floor to go to. 

"Thank you," Olivia said to the nurse and she took Elliot by the hand, "Come on El," Elliot didn't feel like he was even in his body, his wife was gone. The mother of his children was gone, Eli was just a baby. When they go to the floor where Elliot was told that the body needed to be identified, Elliot broke.

"I can't," He said, tears streaming from his eyes, "I… no."

"If it's ok I can do it," Olivia said to the coroner.

"You knew Kathy Stabler?" 

"I've worked with this man for longer then you've had your job, now take me where I need to go," Olivia said as she made Elliot sit down.

"Liv you don't have to… you really don't have to do this, its…" Elliot stopped talking when Olivia sat down next to him and took his hands into hers.

"You listen to me, I am going to go in there and do what needs to be done… I… I'll be right back," Olivia kissed his forehead and he watched her follow the coroner. He had heard it, he knew she almost told him that she loved him… he had heard it in her voice, seen it in her eyes and knew that if she could she would take all of his pain away. 

"Dad?" Kathleen's voice sounded out and Elliot looked up and saw his daughter looking at him with huge eyes, "Is it true? It can't be true Dad… it's not true right?" Kathleen's hysteria made Elliot compose himself and he stood up to walk over to her. She searched his eyes and all he could say was,

"I'm so sorry sweetie," And she collapsed into his arms.

"NO!" She screamed and Elliot held her tightly as she sobbed as if her tears would bring her mother back, "It's not true! It's not… It's not true! Did you see her Daddy? Is it really her?" Kathleen looked like she was five again and she had just been told her pet hamster had died.

"Olivia went in… I… I couldn't honey,"

"It's ok Daddy," Kathleen's whole body shook and Elliot tried to sooth her but he knew that anything he did or said would not help at all. Kathleen's cell phone went off and she grabbed it angrily from her back pocket and threw it to the floor, it smashed into a few pieces and then she started to kicked it, crying out every time she came in contact with the small object.

"Kathleen stop," Elliot told her softly but Kathleen was now picking up ten year old magazines and throwing them against the wall, "Stop," Elliot said more firmly now. Kathleen began to breathe rapidly and she went for the door but Elliot wrapped his arms around her, "It won't bring your mother back," And it was like those words were the key to stopping time and Kathleen fell limp again in his arms and gave in to the pain. 

"The baby is up in pediatrics," The coroner was saying to a pale faced Olivia.

"Ok, thank you." Olivia said and she looked at Elliot. He nodded and she just closed her eyes and looked down.

"Olivia, it wasn't mom right? They made a mistake… right? It couldn't have been her… it…." Kathleen watched Olivia as she walked over to Elliot's daughter and put an arm around her shoulders and rested her forehead against Kathleen's.

"Listen to me Kathleen… you still have your dad. Your mom is… no longer in pain and she's-"

"Dead… she's dead." Kathleen shook her head back and forth and Olivia looked at Elliot who shook his head.

"I know it hurts now, the pain will probably always be with you… I know that there's nothing that I can say or do to take away your pain sweetie, but there is one thing that I can promise you." Olivia spoke it seemed only to Kathleen and Elliot watched his daughter respond to Olivia with eagerness to feel calmer.

"What's that?" Kathleen asked.

"She's watching over you and every time the sun shines it will be her telling you how much she loves you." Olivia's voice broke and Kathleen surprised Elliot but turning to Olivia and burying her head in Olivia's shoulder.

"Shhh, it's okay honey let it out." Olivia rubbed Kathleen's back and Elliot put his hand on Kathleen's shoulder.

"Where's Eli?" Kathleen asked the two of them.

"He's up in the Pediatrics ward," Olivia said, clearing her throat.

"Dad… do you want me to…"

"No, no, why don't you and Liv go get some tea and I'll go get Eli." Elliot suggested.

"I already told you that I'm not leaving you Elliot." Olivia said, Kathleen still holding onto her.

"Dad… Olivia's right, you shouldn't be alone right now. None of us should. We'll all go up to the floor." Kathleen told Elliot. All Elliot could do was nod and he walked to the elevators. Olivia and Kathleen followed him and when they got to the seventh floor Elliot was given his son. He looked down at the baby, who smiled happily at his father, not knowing what had just happened, expecting his mommy to show up any moment. Elliot's eyes watered at this, Eli was so young and he would grow up never having his mother. 

"Liv," Elliot said and Olivia understood right away, she took Eli in her arms and Kathleen kept a hold on Olivia's arm right. Eli cooed at Olivia and Elliot was so grateful that Olivia no matter what had the capacity to act as if things were perfect when they were the complete opposite. If the world was ending, count on Olivia Benson to be making sure all the children stayed calm.

"Hello miniature Elliot," Olivia bounced him slightly, "Hey little guy,"

"It's amazing how he takes right to you." Kathleen said softly, "He doesn't take to anyone well… it must be because you were the first one he saw when he was born… I mean you were the one to hold him when mom…" Kathleen turned her face away as she started to tremble again.

"Kathleen, did you call your brother?" Elliot asked out of the blue.

"Um…. No I didn't get a chance to."

"That's alright, I'll call him… the others too. Olivia not a word, I know you want to help and do everything but it has to be me to tell them… you know."

"Kath, hold your brother for a second ok?" Olivia said to Kathleen and she nodded taking the baby. Olivia led Elliot over to the side.

"You can't even say it Elliot." She told him.

"I'll have to."

"I can call Dickie, I can call Maureen and-"

"No, I can't let you." Elliot insisted.

"Fine, say it then," Olivia told him.

"No."

"So you don't know what you're going to say to your children?" Olivia asked, "You have got to tell them and if that means me being the messenger… then fine." Olivia took his hands and squeezed them.

"Liv this is my personal life… it's not… I mean…"

"You were there when I dealt with my brother… you got personal Elliot." Olivia pointed out, "What's happened to your family is huge and horrible and I am not going to just walk away. That's not what partners do, it's not what friends do." Olivia stared at him and he looked at her, thanking God for putting Olivia Benson in his life.

"Olivia?" Kathleen said coming over.

"Yeah Kath?"

"Will you stay with us?" Kathleen's question made Elliot go alert and Olivia looked stunned.

"Um…"

"We need you, Dad needs you… you're the closest to family we have right now. Especially for dad." Kathleen said, "And Eli trusts you… will you stay with us?"

Olivia looked at Elliot, then at Kathleen and then Elliot again.

**AN: CLIFFY. Ok so it's not a huge cliffy but it's still a cliffy. Sorry that the chapter was so heavy… once again HAPPY EASTER. I'll update later. Reviewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Love Reviews!**


	3. Family is everything

AN: Hope everyone is having a good Easter

**AN: Hope everyone is having a good Easter. I don't own the characters and blah blah blah. Here we go…**

It was not a surprise to Elliot that Olivia had agreed to stay with them. They stopped at her apartment so she could get some things, she didn't take long but everything felt like slow motion for Elliot. Dickie was already at the house and Maureen was on a flight home, Olivia had told them very gently and Elliot was proud that his son was keeping it together so well. He had talked to him and he had said that he was already making arrangements for Kathy's funeral.

"Dad," Dickie said the moment the four showed up. Elliot had been able to drive as Olivia sat in back with Kathleen and Eli. Kathleen seemed to be attached to Olivia and Elliot could understand why. Olivia had always been the other woman in his life to keep him straight and his kids knew it. They felt safe and secure with her, just as Elliot did. He felt a pang of guilt for thinking like this just hours after he had found out that his wife was gone forever.

"Hi Olivia," Dickie greeted her and she gave him a hug and he returned it.

"I made up the couch for you if that's ok," He told her and she smiled at him.

"Thank you," She looked back at Elliot who was now holding Eli. The baby was fussing, he had been fed at the hospital but he started to squirm in Elliot's arms and then it turned into a cry.

"I just changed his diaper while at Liv's," Kathleen said and she took Eli from Elliot, who watched his daughter try to calm down the upset baby. But to no avail the baby got more upset. Elliot looked at Olivia and he could tell she wanted to help but didn't want to overstep her boundries.

"Here," Kathleen handed Eli to Olivia who shushed the baby he quieted down.

"Wow," Dickie said looking at Olivia and all eyes were on her.

"Let's get inside." Olivia said and she walked in as the other followed.

"I don't suppose anyone's hungry?" Dickie asked opening the fridge.

"I couldn't eat a thing if you paid me, but thank you." Kathleen said, her eyes beginning to tear up again when she saw her mother's grocery list on the fridge. She turned away from it rushed out of the room to the bathroom. Elliot heard her get sick and Dickie went after his sister to check on her. Eli had calmed down completely and was now sleeping in Olivia's arms.

"Thank you Liv," Elliot told her and she didn't smile, there was no cause to but she nodded at him and held Eli closer.

"You know that I'm here Elliot… completely." Olivia said and Elliot wanted to pull her into his arms and just hold her. Kathleen entered the kitchen and apologized for rushing out.

"Don't say you're sorry," Elliot told her and she nodded, leaning into her father.

"Maureen just called my phone, she's at the airport so I'm going to go get her." Dickie hugged everyone including Olivia and then left. 

"I'm going to go to bed…" Kathleen sighed and she kissed her father and Eli, then looked at Olivia, "Thank you." She said and Olivia put a hand through Kathleen's hair and she then went upstairs.

"Where should I put him?" Olivia asked, looking down at Eli.

"The crib is upstairs in the bedroom… but um…" Elliot heaved a sigh.

"I'll take care of it," Olivia smiled at him and she went upstairs and Elliot leaned back against the wall. His house did not feel the same, it felt hallow and unfamiliar. Sure his marriage wasn't the best in the world and he had only come back to Kathy for Eli… but he had loved Kathy, but as he stood there he realized that he was in love with another woman. The woman that was taking care of him and his family at the moment and he hated himself for this due to the circumstances. He heard her coming down the stairs and he looked at her. She moved with confidence and grace, her arms were vacant and he looked at her.

"Where is he?" Elliot asked.

"Kathleen actually caught me in the hallway and told me that she would sleep with him tonight." Olivia explained.

"Is it wrong to feel bad for not wanting to see Eli?" Elliot asked all of the sudden and Olivia came to stand in front of him.

"Not at all, Kathy just had him and it is completely natural for you to be scared to be around Eli right now." Olivia held out her hand to him, he looked down at it for a moment and then looked into Olivia's eyes. She searched his and he then pulled her into a hug and their bodies entwined as he held onto her as if his own life depended on it. Olivia held him for longer then they realized because Elliot started to feel so comfortable his eyes closed.

"You wanna go to the living room and talk?" she asked him.

"As long as you bring the Vodka," Elliot told her and she nodded at him, she went to the living room and got out his hidden stash and two glasses. 

"So… do you wanna talk?" Olivia asked as he poured her a glass.

"Not yet… I'm not ready." Elliot admitted, taking a huge gulp of his drink while Olivia sipped hers.

"We can watch some TV," Olivia suggested, "Unless you want to get some sleep." Olivia looked at him as he sat down on the pulled out mattress that had been made up for Olivia.

"No… I can't sleep in that room…" Elliot said softly and Olivia nodded in understanding.

"You can always sleep with me," Olivia's offer actually made Elliot laugh and Olivia chuckled as well, "Wow how wrong did that sound?" she asked.

"No… if you don't mind I probably will sleep down here." Elliot said and Olivia pursed her lips looking shy.

"I'll take the floor then," Olivia said and Elliot scoffed at her.

"No you won't, there's room for the both of us. Besides, it's not like… we have anything to worry about."

"I don't know this drink is getting to me," Olivia admitted and Elliot smiled at her.

"Is this wrong?" He asked her.

"I told you one of us could take the floor," Olivia said in response.

"No… I meant is it wrong to laugh at a time like this? I mean… I should be in mourning right now."

"Elliot, everyone mourns in their own way. It's ok to smile and make a joke. You and your family have suffered a great loss and… I know that you and Kathy didn't have the perfect marriage, in fact it was one of those that if the wind even blew a little the house of cards would have collapsed." Olivia scooted closer to him, "But she was your wife, she had your kids. I… I never had a family so… I can't really understand the-"

"You have me," Elliot told her and she looked like she had that Christmas party after they had kissed.

"I do?"

"Yes, you've always had me… I thought you knew that."

"Maybe I did." Olivia said quietly and she rubbed her eyes.

"You wanna get some sleep?" Elliot asked her.

"I'm pretty wiped El," She told him, "But if Eli needs me…"

"Kathleen's watching him, why don't we watch a movie or something?"

"Sounds good," Olivia said, drinking another cup of vodka.

"Alright, well let's see we've got romance… drama…. Comedy…" Elliot looked at Olivia.

"Let's watch Little Miss Sunshine," Olivia suggested and Elliot put the DVD on.

"Wow that Vodka really is getting to me too," Elliot said laying back next to Olivia.

"Yeah, but it's good." Olivia smiled and her cheeks were getting red. Elliot could feel himself losing his inhibitions, he looked at Olivia and she looked back at him.

"Liv?"

"Yeah El?" She asked as his face got closer and closer to hers. He took her hand in his and traced her fingers and she closed her eyes at the touch, Elliot struggled to keep himself from kissing her. This was insane, his wife had just died but all he could think of was the woman right in front of him, the woman that he had fallen in love with without realizing it. Under the worst circumstances he had her next to him, with just a touch of his hand he had her in a trance. Olivia opened her eyes and they looked glassy. It was a good thing that headlights showed up when they did because Olivia moved away from Elliot just as something was about to happen that they would both feel guilty about.

"I'm going to check on Eli and Kathleen," Olivia said hastily and she disappeared up the stairs. Elliot groaned and stood up to greet his other children. After talking to Maureen and getting her settled, discussing arrangements with Dickie, Elliot was not surprised to find Olivia sound asleep in the pull out bed, she looked so peaceful and he wondered if it would be wrong to sleep next to her. What would his children think? But Elliot had to let it go. He needed Olivia… so he took his shirt off and climbed under the covers and slowly put his body against Olivia's her back in his chest and she stayed asleep but looked happy for a moment, when Elliot settled his head right next to hers, Olivia turned her body slowly to face his and Elliot automatically put an arm around her and he had not remembered the last time sleeping felt so right.

**AN: Eh… this chapter was… I'm sorry if it sucked, but come on…. We can't have Elliot jumping Livs bones just when Kathy died! He needs to wait ATLEAST a day (J/K)…. No it's building. The next chapter is almost finished and I am loving it, this chapter was just something to hold us over until we get to the GOOD stuff. Let me know what you think. Love you guys!**


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